Existence
by Sanguine Dreams
Summary: She was alive. She felt. She was there. Yet sometimes, just existing wasn't enough.


Hello, my name is Sanguine Dreams…err…I am a lazy 13 year-old girl that haven't been updating and always starting stories…um…please don't hate me…

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**Disclaimer:** Maybe one day…but for now…no.

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**_Chapter One: Entity_**

_"I could not answer the ceaseless inward question- why I thus suffered; now, at the distance of- I will not say how many years, I see it clearly."_

-Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

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The feeling…or the lack of it, wasn't unfamiliar. It was a feeling in the chest that sent ignominious shivers down her spine. The feeling was of someone punching her gut…or digging her soul. But it wasn't much different from the feeling of seeing her "fiancé" with that other…woman.

That was a load of bullshit.

Fiancé her ass. It was an arranged marriage to begin with, so it shouldn't have really mattered which whore he was with. But the lack of decisions she made in her life really pulled her down. She was a woman. Women, at least once, lived in their simple scenarios where they would marry their knights in shining armor and live happily ever after. She had hoped she would have at least gotten her say in marriage.

She didn't know how it started; in fact, she didn't know when it began. It was an average day to begin with, well…as average as an overly wealthy girl's life can be. She was out in shopping with Sango when her cell rang. _I guess that's where it started rolling downhill at 210 miles per second_. Her father called telling her that it was time for her to take her share of responsibilities of the company.

_Responsibilities_…the only _response_ they had gotten out of her was a temper of the seven hells.

The reaction from the male wasn't much different either. To say the least, he even had his share of girlfriends and she was not about to put up with a playboy of a fiancé. But after many arguments, threats, and shouting, the two young adults were finally "together".

They had been together for three years now, at least living in the same house...just not yet engaged. At age twenty-three Kagome Higurashi still hasn't received her first kiss yet. _Pathetic isn't it?_

It wasn't like she felt anything towards him; they weren't friends (even though she wished they were. It would lessen the headaches she got.), but they weren't enemies either. But it still didn't answer the question of why she hurt every time he kissed another woman, or when he never showed the slightest affection towards her. _Maybe I'm just lonely…_

She swung her legs over the bed and walked to her closet. Then her phone rang; Kagome eyed the phone, debating whether she should answer the phone or not. She quickly walked over to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Kagome! I haven't heard from you in such a long time! How are you?" a female voice called through the phone.

"Sango? Is that really you?"

"No…this is Kikyo, coming to get revenge on you for taking her precious from her. Of course it's me."

"Oh, hi Sango. I'm glad you called."

"Kagome…you don't sound so well. Are you okay?" Sango's voice was laced with concern.

"No, I'm fine Sango. Must be the stress."

"You have got to loosen up girl! You spend too much time in that house of yours! You have to get out! That bastard of a husband of yours probably spending time with Kikyo. Why can't you have fun? Be a wild party girl for once in two years!" Sango laughed over the phone.

"I can't Sango. You know that-"

"No, I don't know. I don't know why you continue to be so faithful to that bastard! He doesn't deserve you. I'm coming to pick you up in thirty minutes! You have thirty minutes! Okay? Okay!" And the phone line died.

A smile graced Kagome's features as she walked back to her closet. _Now, what to wear…_

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"Kami! Kagome! I said we're going out! Not to some classy restaurant! There has got to be something in that huge closet of yours that isn't so classy!" Sango raced through the main entrance and up the stairs.

Kagome shrugged and slowly followed her up the stairs in her blue dress.

"Ah-ha! I found it! Uh-huh! Can't touch this!" Sango stroked a pose and Kagome burst out laughing, but soon stopped when she saw that outfit. _No way in hell…I am not wearing that…_

"No. Sango. I haven't touched that skirt since I was nineteen! I didn't even know it was still there," gasped Kagome.

"Exactly. That's what makes it so much sexier. And do let your hair down. I'm tired of seeing you in a bun. Where's that vixen that used to be Kagome Higurashi? That girl that got her navel pierced with me?" Sango pouted.

"Fine only today, for you."

"Yes, yes. Now shoo!" Sango pushed Kagome into the bathroom and closed the door. _Kagome…Inuyasha doesn't deserve you at all…You deserved so much better in life…what went wrong?_

Kagome unzipped the blue dress and stepped out of it. _I can't believe I'm doing this…_The skirt was lifted and buttoned. Then a light green short-sleeved shirt was pulled over her head. _I can't believe this skirt still fits…_She picked up her fallen blue dress and walked out of the bathroom.

"Kagome! Look at you! What did I did I say about the bun…" Sango glared.

"But, what's wrong with it? I think it looks rather good," reasoned Kagome.

"No bun!" said and obviously annoyed Sango. She marched over to Kagome and pulled down the elastic that held the bun. Waves of curls fell around Kagome's shoulders and stopped near the small of her back.

"See! That's much better! Now leave a note and pack your credit cards and cash. We're going shopping!" instructed Sango. Kagome smiled and nodded.

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"Sango…can't we stop? My legs are so sore." They had been walking around the mall for five hours and Kagome couldn't take it much longer.

"Fine. But first we have got to buy you a new set of bras!" Growing up with Kagome, Sango knew everything about her: from her first crush to the size of her bras; and she knew all of Kagome's were cotton.

"What? What's wrong with my bras? I happen to find them very comfortable."

"Kagome! You are twenty-three! TWENTY- THREE! Not sixteen or seventeen. You're a grown woman and all you have are cotton. You were always the innocent one, but please! You're twenty-three. And didn't I say we were going to cheer you up and make you forget about your duty?" A snicker escaped Sango's lips when Kagome blushed from Sango being so public with her private life. And so they went.

"Excuse me. I'm looking for a bra like this one, but size 36-C. Do you have one in this store?" She held up a black-laced bra and showed it to the employee.

"Um…let's see. Yes, miss. We have one just your size-" replied the girl after looking at the computer.

"Oh, no. It's not for me. It's for her." Said Sango pointing at Kagome, who was gazing at a pair of black bikinis with interest.

"Oh. Well, here you go miss."

"So, you like bikinis eh?" Sango muttered behind Kagome

"What? NO! It's just, I've never…" Kagome blushed and Sango laughed.

"Yes, you've never been in a two piece, or rather a bikini. All of yours are one-piece."

"Sango, please." Kagome's annoyed face was evident.

"Sheesh, fine. Sue me for having fun since you met that bastard!" Sango growled, "But I am getting you that bikini. We're going swimming next week. No buts, howevers, etc. you **are** going." Sango reached over Kagome and picked the black two-piece out. She examined it and lifted it on Kagome. "It seems to be about your size. I'll take it!"

"Sango, you can't!"

"Or so you say."

"But-"

"No. I'm getting it for you, and the bra too. You can pay for lunch."

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"Hey, what's going on over there?" Kagome pointed over to a big crowd while sucking her slushie.

"I think it's a duel of some sort. Dunno what though." Sango continued munching on her chocolate bar. "Wanna go over and see later?"

"Sure." The two women quickly finished their desserts and threw out the trash…well, Kagome threw out the trash muttering something about litterbugs. Sango pushed her way through the crowd rather violently, and the people were more than happy to let her pass.

"Hey, Kagome, isn't that your bastard?" Sango's eyes flashed angrily when Kagome nodded. There, stood her "fiancé" grinding against the body of another female.

"That bitch…Kagome, go there and show him what a real grind is." Sango winked

"What? I can't do that." Kagome's face turned so red, Sango was sure her face was going to pop and bleed to death.

"Yes you can. I saw you grind before. I swear every time, the guy you're grinding onto has trouble walking later on. And you grind fine."

"It's not that…he's my-"

"Bastard….yes I know, we've established that fact when you came to me crying about a bastard. Go, grind with him. Show him what you've got…and embarrasses him to no end." Sango pushed Kagome onto him just when another song started.

Kagome turned around to quickly apologize and tell him that she wasn't whom he thought she was, if he thought she was whom she was.

"So, another wench wants to join me for a ride? Are you sure you can keep up with me?" Kagome's eyes widened. Never in her three years of living with him has he said anything so…_sexual_.

"Are you just going to stand there? Guess so, you can't possibly dance with me, baby. Go home."

"Can you keep up with me?" Kagome's eyes flashed with anger. There was no way in hell would she let him deride her in _anything_. A soft chuckle found its way out of his mouth and he pulled her closer.

"Baby, I can keep up with anyone." And he started grinding; only shocked to find her grinding right back with just as much fierceness as him. _And gods, her body…_her curves were pushed right into him; her scent intoxicated him. _Why does she smell so fucking **good**?…and so familiar too._ He buried his nose into her soft locks of raven colored her and breathed a shaky breath. _Shit!_

"So, how come you never told me you knew how to grind…Kagome?"

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Erm…So how was it? I was thinking of making a DNAngel crossover with this story, so what do you think?

_**Sanguine Dreams**_

PS review please? You know you want to…(even if you don't know, you want to review.) Your hands are itching to leave a review telling me how great I am…right? RIGHT!


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